dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize