Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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