whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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