i just wanna soil my oats bro
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i think my mom watched the whole time
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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