I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
