that's an acceptable place to lick
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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