i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
He better not be in your backpack
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
