The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
