as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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