i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
