Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
