Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
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