today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
