Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
