boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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