9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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