I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
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luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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