You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Randomize
