is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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