Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
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to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
the room spins SO much faster in panama
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
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my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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