he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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