O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Randomize
