We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I currently don't understand fingers.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
