can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize