Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
