I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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