he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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