I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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