I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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