He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
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Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
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Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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