I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
