You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
