you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
