I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
