He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
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