She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
