We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
