I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
