I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
