Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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