6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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