its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
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Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
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