The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
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