I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I want her autograph on my taint
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize