He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
