Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
