I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
