apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
