Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
