it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
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