so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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