I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
