Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
