I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize