i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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