She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
