i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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