Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
