I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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